January 23, 2013

The Do's and Don'ts of Visiting a New Mom (straight from the horses' mouths!)

A new (again) mom friend of mine suggested I do a post on what NOT to do when visiting new parents. As I am expecting Baby Sister to arrive in about 4 weeks, I am gladly obliging in selfish hopes that I will benefit from doing so. This is a progressive post, so keep commenting about what I should add!!

And, If you are expecting a baby soon, share this post (passively...) on your Facebook page, or as a spam email, so your family and friends can be prepared to be the most supportive of you!!


  • Do not show up without (easy-to-heat) food. In disposable containers.
  • or, if you are staying with the new parents, do be proactive and plan to cook meals.  Tell momma and daddy as such.
  • if they have a small child already, do make meals that will be eaten by said child (i.e. avoid super-spicy foods)
  • When bringing food, do consider other items in addition to, or besides, dinner such as:
    • breakfast
    • fresh fruit and veggies, sliced and ready to be eaten for snack (edible arrangements!!)
    • dessert
    • alcohol! :)  Wheat beers are good for milk-making mommas!
  • Do bring chocolate

Mom's condition
  • Don't pat new Momma's belly and comment about it not going down yet (yes this really happened...)
  • Don't ask her if there is another one in there (yes this really happened...)
  • Do tell her she looks amazing (even if she looks like dog poo)
  • Don't come over too gussied up (because she won't be!)
  • Don't ask if she's ready for another!

  • Do be proactive - clean litter box, take trash out, fold laundry, do dishes - don't wait for the parents to ask
  • Do offer to help or watch baby for a moment while momma takes a break (like a shower!) - but give her back the moment baby gets fussy!
  • ... but don't take baby from her!
  • Do offer to wash your hands before holding baby (without being asked)!

You are not a guest
  • Remember you are not here on vacation so don't expect the new parents to take you shopping, out to eat, to the movies, or to accommodate your need to watch specific football games
  • Don't make a mess!
  • Don't express too much interest in what is happening under the nursing cover
  • Don't talk about your breastfeeding horror stories

They Need Rest
  • When visiting new baby, remember parents need to sleep when baby is sleeping so don't stay too long!
  • Don't tell her to nap when the baby naps (while so true, it gets old to hear when other stuff just needs to be done sometimes)
  • Don't ask to see (or awaken!) a sleeping baby
  • Don't drop in unannounced
  • Don't come over sick (if they, or the baby, gets sick, ain't nobody getting rest!)
  • Don't comment on how tired Mom looks
  • Don't complain about how tired YOU (the visitor) are.

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